Desires
by candyhigh
Summary: James is questioning his sexuality. So he goes to his openly gay best bud for some help. Problem is, Kendall is kind of dating Logan. Oh and Carlos is failing history. Multi-chap. Rated T for language, maybe changing to M in later chapters. Read if you're still confused. ! Check my profile bio please !
1. Chapter 1

**I really, really shouldn't be starting a new story. But I owe it to you guys to at least put something out there. Um, sorry if updates on this take forever like 'Hazel Eyes' and 'Soulmates'. I'm still trying to get everything filled out in the plot. Anyways, this story is dedicated to TheGuestReviewer who came to me with an amazing request. The story idea is not mine, I'm just bringing it to life. Hopefully, this is good enough. Anyways, uh, hope you enjoy ! :)**

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Saying it was difficult was an understatement. Having to sneak around, making sure no one had seen them or even followed them. Going out in public without taking precautions was a no. So they both took those precautions. Why? Because they honestly really liked each other.

Despite the challenges that came with their secret relationship, Kendall Knight and Logan Mitchell made it work. The two members of Big Time Rush were openly gay but not open about their relationship. Their Rushers were completely supportive though they weren't sure how they would take the relationship.

"Hey Kenny." Logan said as he walked by the blonde in the kitchen. Said blonde was currently cutting up fruit in order to make a smoothie.

"Oh, hey Loges." Kendall shot a smile to the ravenette who slightly blushed as usual. Logan opened the fridge and grabbed a water bottle.

"So, I was wondering if maybe you and I could go watch that new movie. Um, I can't remem-" a loud bang was heard and Logan jumped.

Kendall went to him and laid a hand on his shoulder, knowing it had come from the door and didn't want anyone to see anything too affectionate.

"I freaking hate school !" Carlos Garcia, another member of Big Time Rush, whined. He walked until he reached the living room, pausing as if thinking, and then throwing himself on the orange couch.

Logan sighed, moving to the living room with his water bottle in hand. "What happened?" Kendall went back to the cutting board and continued, listening to the two boys. Carlos turned so that he was facing the pale boy when he sat down.

"Ms. Collins just told me that I'm failing stupid history because I didn't pass an even stupider test! It's all just so stupid!" Carlos pouting, both hands on his helmet in an effort to comfort himself.

"Well uh, maybe I can tutor you. I already have enough credit to pass the class so it'd be fine if I helped you out with homework and stuff." Logan shrugged.

"That is a great idea Loges. I don't think Gustavo would be to happy if you had to skip practice because of school." Kendall added. The Latino looked like he was taking it into consideration.

"Mmm, okay! I have a ton of homework so lemme get my backpack! Let's go to the park cause I cannot do this here!" Carlos said with a huge smile. He ran out of the room and went towards the one he shared with the genius.

Logan took that time to go to Kendall, knowing that they'd know when the Latino was coming as he always shouted.

"Well, guess we have to put pause on our plans. Sorry babe." Kendall said, setting down the knife and moving all the fruit from the cutting board into the blender.

"It's fine. But we can still hang out when Carlos and I come back, right?" Logan said, a cute smile placed upon his face as he looked up at Kendall.

"Right." the blonde leaned down, softly pressing his lips to Logan's. Arms moved to wrap around his neck and Logan felt hands at his hips.

"Woohoo! Let's go!" a loud shout came from the hallway. Logan jumped apart and opened the refrigerator. He grabbed a water bottle and closed it, a blush covering his face. Kendall was completely serious, as if nothing had ever happened.

"Didn't you just get a water bottle?" the Latino asked as he saw Logan. The ravenette nodded.

"Yeah, but uh, better to take a full one instead of a half finished one, right?" he said with a nervous laugh. Kendall passed by him, Logan moving slightly so the blonde could open the fridge. Taking out the milk, Kendall smirked.

"Yup, but two's better than one. So you should probably go get the other full one that you left at the couch." Kendall teased. Carlos ran into the living room and back to Logan, tossing the water bottle to him.

"Pshh, yeah, that's what I meant, uh. Let's go Litos!" Logan said, moving by the blonde who still had his smirk on. He opened the door and left the apartment.

"Bye Kendall, bye James!" Carlos shouted. James Diamond was the last member of Big Time Rush. He had been in the room he shared with Kendall, looking through Men Fashion magazines. The Latino left, shutting the door right as James came out of the room and into the living room where he could see the blonde in the kitchen.

"Where'd he go?" he asked, settling himself on one of the barstools facing Kendall.

"To study at the park. Los is failing and Logan said he would tutor him." Kendall explained. James nodded, folding his arms on the marble bar and settling his head there.

"Want a smoothie?" Kendall offered upon realizing that he had too much fruit in the blender compared to how much milk he put for just himself.

"Ehh, sure." James said. The blonde put more milk for James and grabbed the lid. He pressed the smoothie button on the blender and loud noise filled the room for about a minute. Once it finished, he grabbed two glasses and poured the smoothie into them, both being almost full. He passed the purplish liquid to James with a straw.

"Are we the only ones here?" James asked, taking a sip of the sweet drink. Kendall finished swallowing and nodded.

"Yup, Mom went out with 're gonna be back at around 8 I think." Kendall said, checking the time on his phone that was next to him. It was currently 3:42 PM.

"Hey Kenny, I've been meaning to ask you something." the brunette said after 5 long minutes of silence. Kendall looked up from his phone and raised his brows in a way to acknowledge he was listening.

"Okay, you're gay, right?" James asked. Kendall nearly choked on the smoothie. He began coughing and James reached around to pat his friend on the back.

With one final cough, Kendall finally looked at him. "Sorry, went down the wrong pipe. But uh, yeah. Why?" his voice was unusually high pitched.

 _Oh God, what if he found out about me and Logan? Stay calm Knight, stay fucking calm!_

"Um, well, lately, I've been having these.. feelings. Okay, maybe not feelings but like, uh, desires. Like, I could be at the pool and see some really fine chick. But then it's like a hot dude gets my attention even more." James said, his brows furrowing as if he was actually deep into thought.

Kendall's breathing slowed, thankful that nothing about Logan slipped by the brunette's lips. "Oh. So, you're questioning your sexuality or-"

"Yes! That's exactly what I'm doing!" James said, pointing at him and looking as excited as a philosopher would be upon discovering the meaning of life.

"Alright, uh, so what do you want to ask me?" Kendall asked, leaning against the island counter and taking another sip of his smoothie.

"Well, um, okay this is a bit awkward but we're best friends. So hopefully this won't be as weird but we're basically brother and I've known you for a really long time and-"

"James. You're ranting. Just get on with it." Kendall said, his eyebrow raised slightly.

"Okay. Um, maybe you could help me out? Like, we could like, do things to conclude if I am bisexual." James said, scratching the back of his neck while looking as embarrassed as James Diamond could get.

"What do you mean, do things?"

"Like kiss and all that. Not like an actual relationship but just what consists of it. Ya know? Ion wanna stir things up in the media just yet and besides, I don't like you like that. You don't like me like that. You're just going to be a gay bro helping out another bro to see if he's bi." James said with a smile.

Kendall had no idea how the brunette could say this like it was so normal to ask your best friend who is secretly dating another one of your best friends to have a not so normal relationship.

But if Kendall denied, James would just go to Logan. And Kendall does not like to share. He also might put his relationship with Logan at risk of being discovered. _Why does James have to decide that he's sexually questioning himself now?_

"Earth to Kendall. Hello?" the taller brunette was suddenly all up in his space, waving a hand back and forth in front of his face. Kendall reached out and wrapped his pale fingers tightly around the tan wrist to prevent it from moving.

"Um, yeah. But nothing serious, okay! I'm not here to catch feelings or any of that shit," Kendall gulped nervously at the wide grin on his best friend's face. "I'm just a gay bro helping out another bro determine his sexuality."

"See? Was that so hard?" James said, leaning in a kissing the blonde's nose. Said blonde jumped to the side, his heart racing much to his displeasure.

"Wh-what was that?" he shrieked. Okay, he knew what it was. But how was he suppose to know that James wanted to start right away ?! _He should at least give me some time so I cam talk about things with Logan. Okay, maybe James can't do that cause he had no idea about us. But.. still!_

"It was a kiss. Jeez, and here I am thinking you're the smartest out of the both of us. And anyways, we have the apartment to ourselves. We both know that it'll take Logan forever to get Carlitos to even understand the difference between a democracy, an oligarchy, a republic, and a monarchy." hazel eyes rolled.

"Okay. But uh, we should talk before we do anything first. I mean, you don't just start liking dudes out of no where." Kendall said, grabbing his smoothie and walking into a living room in an attempt to hide the blush spreading across his cheeks.

James had seen it for just a second and thought it was the most adorable thing. Though with feigned sadness and a small smile, he turned to face Kendall again. "If we must."

Kendall folded his arms before letting out a long sigh. "James, if we're going to do this, I have to know how far you want to take it. Because I am not going to just, I dunno, make my body available to you whenever you want it. I am human too."

"Okay, well, my end game was like, a make out sesh. Ya know, to just get the vibe of it. And Blondie, I would never force you to do anything. We may not be lovers but you are my best friend and I don't want you to feel uncomfortable." James said, getting up and plopping himself down next to Kendall. The blonde felt a hand rubbing circles on his back in an attempt of comfort.

"God, it's like I'm the one coming to you for advice. Ugh, alright. We'll discuss ground rules and work out a schedule for this experiment of yours." Kendall sighed.

James smirked. "Oh trust me Knight, this ill be the best experience of your life. And great! I knew I could come to you!"

Yeah, Kendall wasn't so sure about that.

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 **Okay, so there's going to be two endings to this. I will post the second one when I am first finished with this ending. Repeating myself again, thank you to everyone who still reads my stories and TheGuestReviewer for trusting me with fulfilling their idea. Which I hopefully am. Anyways, reviews are always appreciated and sadly, I am not taking requests for this story. But you can always PM me about any ideas you may have! :)**

 **XOXO,**

 **J ;)**


	2. Chapter 2

**I have neglected this story for way too long. Jeez, I feel horrible. But like I said in** _Filth_ **, I'm going to try to update the hell out of my stories. This update was just long overdue and it's ridiculous really. Thanks to those who are going to read it and I apologize in advance for any mistakes. Enjoy ! :)**

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"Okay, so after looking at all of what he's done, why do you think that Hamilton even wrote that letter to his wife?" Logan asked, pinching the bridge of his nose. It had taken him an hour and a half to make sure Carlos understood every major thing Alexander Hamilton had done to not only get hate but be respected as well.

"Uh, maybe so that she'd know that he truly loved her for always sticking by his side?" Carlos said, chewing on the back of his pen. Logan nodded, motioning to the Latino's homework.

"Great, now just write that down." Logan sighed. Carlos grinned and grabbed the paper, hurriedly scribbling it down.

"Thanks Logie! Really, I appreciate it." Carlos said, the silly grin still plastered over his face. Logan's cheeks slightly tinted pink when he smiled back.

"No problem Carlitos." he said, patting Carlos' shoulder.

"Well, I'm hungry ! You wanna go get some food?" Carlos said, jumping up and stretching. Logan hummed his agreement while Carlos began to put his things away.

"Sure, uh, burgers maybe?" Carlos' eyes lit up as bright as lights on Christmas Eve.

"Yes yes yes! Oh, there's this new place, the Burger Shack! I heard from Jo that it's really good!" the Latino was basically jumping up and down. Logan got up with a fond smile, patting his friend's head.

"Alright, let's just go back to the apartment so that you can drop off your backpack and so that I can get my wallet." Carlos grabbed Logan's wrist and began running, forcing the ravenette to run as well.

Once they reached the lobby and barely caught the closing elevator, Carlos let go. Logan was breathing raggedly and Carlos was grinning. "I got us here faster, see?"

Logan shot a glare at him, still trying to slow down his racing heart. "You b-bastard! Fuck, I can barely b-breathe!"

"Oh suck it up Logie," Carlos rolled his eyes. "That's nothing to what we've been through. And not like you and Kendall don't do more exhausting things."

Logan froze as the elevator doors slid open. Carlos stepped out but turned sharply when he noticed Logan wasn't following.

"Logan! Come on!"

"Wh-what do you mean Kendall and I do exhausting things?" his voice was pitched unusually high as he stepped out. Carlos began walking again and shrugged.

"Well you guys used to work out together, remember? You two said you wanted to get fit and Kendall didn't want to work with me because he said I had too much energy -whatever that means- and that James bugged too much." Logan's shoulders slumped in relief.

"Oh, right. Yeah." he said as he walked ahead of the Latino and unlocked the door with his key.

"James! Stop!" they heard Kendall say loudly, James laughing. It sounded like it was coming from their room.

"Hey guys! We're back!" the Latino went sprinting into the hall, flinging his backpack into the living room once he had passed it.

Carlos' eyes widened when he stepped inside the boys' room. He found a shirtless James, laughing on the floor and a fuming Kendall. The thing that mainly caught his attention was the pieces of paper between them, which looked like song lyrics.

A grin spread across his features and he rushed forward, grabbing the papers. He read the first few lines and looked at the two. "You guys never said you were working on new songs!" he pouted.

James got up and ruffled Carlos' hair. "Sorry, Litos, but we just had a sudden idea. And anyways, who doesn't like a good love song, right Kenny?" because Carlos was still going over it, he missed the wink James sent the blonde's way.

Kendall's cheeks went pink but he nodded his agreement. Logan stepped into the room and butterflies fluttered in his stomach at the sight of a slightly disheveled Kendall.

"Hey Kenny and James, I thought we talked about keeping your shirt on." Logan rolled his eyes, leaning against the doorway.

James stuck out his tongue. "Not my fault that you'll end up falling in love with me."

"Just because I'm gay doesn't mean I'll fall in love with you, dumbass. Anyways, Carlos and I were going to go get some food and wanted to know if you guys wanted anything." the raven haired teen pushed himself of the door frame and went over to the Latino.

He pulled him away from the sheets of music, ignoring the loud whines. They all knew that while the boy may have a short attention span, when it came to writing new songs he was mission driven and stopped at nothing to perfect it.

"Oh yeah! I could definitely go for something to eat! Lemme put on a shirt and we'll go!" James smiled brightly, going into the closet. No pun intended.

Carlos followed him, shouting that he wanted them to match. Kendall leaped up from the bed, rushing over to Logan.

"Hey babe, I need to talk to you later, mkay?" he said softly. Logan bit his lip and nodded, a sudden fear gripping his heart. _Is he going to break up with me?_

The blonde seemed to notice his boyfriend's terror and shook his head. "It's nothing like that. Now c'mon Logie, I really wanna show you this one show that Imma record for later!"

Logan winced slightly since Kendall raised his voice considerably but let himself be dragged out to the living room. Kendall put one hand at his waist and another at his hip, pulling him close and kissing him.

Logan gasped. James and Carlos were like right next door! What if they walked in ? And like he could read his mind again, Kendall pulled away with a wink.

"James, hurry up! And Carlos, just because James wants to wear a certain shirt doesn't mean you have to change to match." Kendall sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. The Latino froze mid step into his bedroom.

"He's right! Matching isn't that great for this season. Now, let us go my friends who are kinda hot but not as hot as me!" James said as he walked into the living room, brushing against Kendall on purpose. Pale cheeks tinted pink and he quickly followed the taller male out of the room, not wanting the blush to be evident.

Logan and Carlos glanced at eachother, shrugging and quickly following after their bandmates.

 _ **LINE BREAK**_

James leaned against Logan, all of them laughing at the joke their Latino friend had made.

Kendall not as much though. He was keeping a close eye on the way James was interacting with Logan, making sure that the brunette wasn't trying anything on the ravenette as he was with him. He couldn't stand the thought of someone else with Logan, wincing when he realized that his boyfriend probably felt the same way.

 _This is going to be fucking wild._

"Kendall, what's with the long face? You look like someone killed your puppy." Logan commented, ignoring the slight yelp that came from Carlos due to thinking of dead puppies.

"Nothing! So what do you guys think of Mr. X getting fired?" Kendall said. James and Carlos jumped onto that conversation lightning fast. Logan sent his boyfriend a look that said that they were going to talk soon and Kendall nodded, then agreeing to whatever James had asked his opinion on.

The teens conversed for another half hour before they decided to throw in the towel and go home. Logan purposefully decided to walk next to Logan while their two friends bickered in front of them. "You good? You're acting pretty weird."

"Yeah, I'm good. Just really need to pass something by you." the blonde said with a reassuring smile. Logan returned the smile, subconsciously shifting closer to the taller teen. When the PalmWoods came into view, Kendall announced that he would take a detour to the park. Logan knew that was the opening for them to be alone and said he would join.

Their bandmates shrugged and continued on their way to the apartment. Logan and Kendall walked around for just a bit before settling onto a park bench. "So what's the thing you need to talk about?"

It only took a few seconds of staring into those chocolate eyes before Kendall was spilling everything that had happened when his boyfriend and Carlos left the apartment.

By the end of it, Logan stared at him with wide eyes. Kendall took this as a bad sign, breathing harshly.

"Logan, baby, say something."

And the raven haired teen simply began laughing, filling the emerald eyed boy with confusion. "Wait, why are you laughing?"

"Oh Kenny, what did you get yourself into?" Logan asked between giggles, covering his mouth with his hand in an attempt to calm himself.

"I don't even know. You aren't mad though?" Kendall asked, biting his lip. His partner shook his head.

"No, if James is curious then let him experiment with you. As long as he doesn't, you know, try to fuck or turn this into a long term relationship, then we're good. A few kisses and feeling each other's dicks is nothing. Hell, I wish I had someone that was experienced before you and I began all that."

Kendall's eyes darkened at the thought of Logan with someone else but he didn't say anything about it. "Okay, then I'll let James know my limits without, you know, disclosing us. Thanks babe." with a quick glance to make sure no one was around, Kendall leaned down and snagged a kiss from the shorter male.

Logan pulled apart, a blush dusting his face when he remembered they were in public. "Let's get back to the apartment."

The two began their walk to the apartment, completely missing the shocked pair of chocolate eyes following their movements.

 _Kendall and Logan are dating ?_

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 **Speaking of long overdue updates, I don't think I will be continuing Hazel Eyes. Well, not with it's current set up. Looking back at it, I'm kind of embarrassed of publishing it. I am going to keep the same idea but revise the chapters so that they aren't that horrible. So I'm going to re-upload what will hopefully be the rest of the story. Thank you for those that still read these, despite my lack of activity. I really really appreciate it. I am not taking suggestions at the moment and reviews are always appreciated ! :)**


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